Taking Back Control: The ‘Unselfishness’ of Putting You First


Maybe it’s just us but it seems like the volume of things to do has been turning up, and up, and up… There is so much, and it’s all of the time! From growing your business and keeping up with your clients and vendors, to fulfilling your social obligations. But what about you? Your to-do lists never seem to have an end and you may be on the verge of burning out. Our day-to-day tasks and worries can begin to overwhelm us, and our lives can start to feel like they’re not our own anymore. We no longer feel like agents of our own lives. Instead, we’re letting life happen to us while we watch and endure the effects. Once we get to this point, it can feel impossible to regain power and control.

Don’t lose hope! There is a solution, and we’re not simply hopped up on a venti Pumpkin Spice Latte bingeing on Netflix and GrubHub. It lies in reframing our thoughts, affirming our power over everything happening and taking the reins to set our own courses. Every day is a new beginning and every day you have choice. What choices can you make to renew yourself and take control?

Practice Work & Life Balance

The work and life balancing act is a difficult task. It’s important to put your all into your work but it’s equally as important to take care of yourself. The bright side of this is that you have all of the tools to take back control. Wedding professionals can set their own hours. While this can be both a gift and a curse, make it a gift to yourself. Take advantage of this agency. Be kind and flexible with yourself. Set work hours that are conducive to what needs to get done but also allot time for your personal life.

Since many of our events happen during the weekend, don’t allow your days to bleed into each other with no regulation. Stop postponing a day off or going on a vacation by using the excuse that you will but only as soon as X, Y, and Z are taken care of. There is always going to be something that the wedding world requires and that you have to do. With this kind of mentality, you will find yourself lifeless and too tired to actually excel in your work. Balance will benefit your work and your personal life! After all, it all accumulates into this one life: yours.


This is where it all begins. Your thoughts influence the way you view and experience the world. The quality of your thoughts becomes the quality of your life. All of your actions are responses to your environment. We can’t control everything that happens in our environment, but we can control the way we react and respond to it. Have a growth mindset and believe that you can change any aspect of yourself and your life. Only when this happens will you start to feel like you have control of your life. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, take a moment to reframe them and replace them with thoughts that can move you forward in a positive direction. A healthy mindset can help you live the life you want to live.

Recognize Your Value

Once you control your thoughts, you can be your #1 fan. You can’t take control of your life without knowing yourself, valuing who you are and what you have to offer. Often times we stretch ourselves too thin because we don’t feel like we’re adequate enough or are doing everything that we could. We fixate on our shortcomings and waste energy and time trying to make up for mistakes. Instead, look at everything as a learning opportunity and yourself as a learner. You’ve gotten this far, and you deserve to celebrate and appreciate who you are. You can practice self-appreciation by writing down four things that you love about yourself and four things that you have accomplished. This daily activity will help you see that you are valuable, and that you do have agency over your life.

Declutter Your Life: Physically & Emotionally

  1. Clean your home space and work space. 
  2. Organize your physical and digital files. 
  3. Make manageable and realistic to-do lists.
  4. Learn to say no to the things that are only adding to your plate but not filing your cup.
  5. Set boundaries with the people you work with, as well as your personal relationships.
  6. Work through your professional and personal problems as they often influence each other.

Physical Health

It’s a well-known fact that your physical health has a big impact on your mood and quality of life. Set an exercise schedule. Too busy to go to an actual gym? Maybe add an elliptical to your office or do 10-30 minute workouts in between work. As a wedding pro you’re always on the move, which is great because sitting down for long periods of time is not good for you. But, always remember to take breaks if necessary. Over working your body is not good either.

Choose what you put in your body. Cut down on processed sugars, fats, caffeine, and alcohol. Find healthy alternatives to the foods you gravitate towards when you’re stressed. Sleep is another big factor. It’s easy to feel like your work and personal life are a mess when you’re not getting enough sleep. Seven to eight hours every night should help you get into a healthy routine.

Mental Health

When it comes to your mental health, say yes to what you want and what makes you happy! You like to write poetry? Go on bike rides? Travel to new places? Whether it be big or small, allow yourself to indulge in those moments. Plan time to do those activities throughout the week or plan ahead for those larger scale trips. Pick a day that is dedicated to your well-being. A time for you to recharge and relax. Schedule in 30 minutes or an hour each day to do something that you enjoy. Every person is different so choose whatever works best for you and your lifestyle.

There are even more simple ways to take control of your life than those listed above. Practice all of them or choose a select few that are a good fit for you. In the end, always put your well being first and everything else will fall into place.

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